The dualistic split in childhood hurt we all had to endure

Image: cueljs

Can you identify the aspects of yourself that were accepted and those that were rejected during your childhood?

Knowing this can help spot the triggers that lead us astray from our authentic expression.

Born into social norms, we were taught by our parents and social environment what was acceptable and what was unacceptable, what we were allowed to be like and what we were better off hiding.

Through a system of rewards and punishments, rejection and affirmation, we were conditioned to conform to social concepts and expectations.

As a necessary survival strategy, we learned to push our own thoughts, feelings, needs, and experiences that didn’t fit in “underground” and to maintain a superficial facade that would ensure our acceptance.

As a result, we split ourselves into a presentable MASK and an unwanted SHADOW, creating two conflicting and fake versions of ourselves: like a Dr. Jekyll, representing the socially acceptable and revered persona, and a Mr. Hyde, representing the darker, more uncontrollable, raw and intense aspects of our personality.

Born into social norms, we were taught by our parents and social environment what was acceptable and what was unacceptable.

This is an artificial inner conflict that has profound consequences on the way we are, feel and behave. It alienates us from ourselves, from our authentic expression and keeps us stuck in thoughts and perspectives of how others would see us.

Instead of being able to rest in our bodily presence (this is where our unconditional acceptance lies) we are stuck in our minds in an ongoing mental struggle to compare and judge ourselves to a conditioned social ideal, a struggle that knows no end.

Stay tuned to upcoming posts that explain how to get out of this dilemma…

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childhood hurt Conditioning dualism