Madison Keys, once expected to be one of tennis’ greats, won her first Grand Slam just shy of 30. A key realization: she stopped trying to get rid of her nerves, which are really just another word for ‘tension.’

Tension is that raw, highly vibrating space. It’s the in-between where we are neither fully one thing nor the other. And because we haven’t been taught how to sit with it, we instinctively try to resolve it – by numbing, distracting, or rushing toward a premature conclusion.

But real maturity, real mastery, comes from learning to bear the tension without trying to settle. Not forcing clarity when things are uncertain. Not reaching for comfort when things feel uneasy. Not cutting things short when they seem to drag on.

Emotional maturity isn’t about eliminating discomfort – it’s about expanding your capacity to hold it. When you stop trying to resolve the tension, you start to see what it’s teaching you. You develop the resilience to stay with it, to let it work on you, to let it be without controlling it.