I wish mothers would stop claiming “unconditional love,” so …
“Unconditional love” is a lofty ideal. A girl or woman who has been wounded in childhood – like everyone else has – doesn’t magically become the beacon of unconditional love overnight just because she becomes a mother.
As a human being, I can only aspire to unconditional love. I cannot claim it.
Any claim to such a lofty ideal often serves as a shield – a way to sanctify myself, render myself untouchable, and declare the argument won before it even begins.
It’s just another form of defensiveness wrapped up in the pose of a perfect, supreme, untouchable saint.
So let’s be real – when I use it, I use it as a weapon. Not because it’s what I aspire to, but because it protects me from being accountable and vulnerable.
I won’t judge someone’s behavior and actions
How this might look like in life:
For example, judging someone for being “selfish” might reveal my discomfort with asserting my needs.
Criticizing someone for being “too loud” could reflect discomfort with expressing my own voice.
Seeing someone “abandon” a relationship might mirror my own avoidance of setting boundaries or leaving something/someone behind.
Judging someone for being “lazy” could reveal a belief that my worth is tied to productivity, making it hard to feel valuable without constant achievement.
Takeaway 🥡
Judgment is a mirror, reflecting back the parts of myself I resist seeing and don’t permit myself to embody or express.
I stop judging because life has a way of expanding my understanding and breaking down the walls of separation by placing me in situations similar to the ones I judged.
Instead, I open myself to greater self-awareness, compassion, and connection.
Your thoughts shape your reality
Essentially, how you think directly influences how you move through life, and that in turn shapes what you experience.
So, your thoughts don’t just reflect your reality – they create it. It’s an active process.
You are constantly in a state of creation with your thoughts, emotions, and actions. This is the essence of understanding what inherent power is: recognizing that you’re not a passive observer of your life, but an active creator.
The moment you change your thinking, you begin to change your reality.
Can’t start early enough with post-holiday assessment
Weight is like the Sword of Damocles, an ever-present threat we can’t seem to escape.
From early on, it’s conditioned into us: your body is you. Whether it’s praise for losing weight, shame for gaining it, or jokes disguised as ‘concern,’ every compliment, insult, or glance reinforces it.
Even as adults, this obsession doesn’t let up. We measure our worth against a number on the scale, fixate on those 5, 10 or 20 “extra” kilos, as if they define our entire existence.
Why have we given weight the power to rule over us like this?
But think about it – our bodies are vehicles, here to carry us through life.
Do we fixate on every scratch or dent in our car with the same emotional intensity? Do we shame or praise ourselves for the car’s appearance? No, we don’t let its imperfections define our worth. A car’s purpose is to get us where we need to go.
So is your body. Does it work? Does it take you where you want to go? Does it help you experience life? That’s what really matters.
It’s not the number. It’s the belief we’ve attached to it.
Life is a Dance
We often forget that life is a dance.
The term Līla in Hinduism describes life as a divine, cosmic play, where there is no ultimate purpose or goal, only the unfolding of experience. This idea counters how we in the West approach life, which often focuses on goals, achievements, competition, and the linear progression of time.
Līla reminds us that life doesn’t need to be bound by a “point” to be meaningful. It’s all about pure play – spontaneous and sometimes pointless, even useless.
It’s about being fully present, engaging in improvisation, and letting ourselves be guided by the flow of energy, like our two dancers in the clip (who were randomly paired to dance to a randomly chosen song.)
Why not let this be the vibe for the coming year?!
P.S. If you can’t get into the swing – physically – do it mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We must remember this joy, this freedom to simply be, no matter the stage of life.
When you think you’ve spiritually evolved and then you go visit your family of origin over Christmas
The family of origin is where your patterns, the roots of your triggers were created, and where your sense of self (or lack thereof) was molded.
No matter how much work you’ve done, going back into that environment feels like stepping into a time machine where preserved old roles and dynamics wait for you.
Your people are like stand-ins for your unhealed wounds, your unmet needs, and the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to reconcile. They see you as you were, not as you are. It’s like a mirror reflecting the version of you they remember, not the version you’ve worked so hard to become. And if they haven’t worked on themselves, they will interact with you in the same ways they always have.
It’s not a failure of your work; it only shows how deeply family dynamics are wired into your nervous system. Faltering is part of the process. Each time you show up, setting boundaries, refusing to play the old roles, and seeing your triggers without being consumed, over time, you will stop needing their validation.
Standing in your truth, and knowing you no longer have to play the game, you can walk away intact—or altogether. The dynamics may never change, but your relationship to them can.
You cannot save your children from the mess of this world by betraying them!
Dear future incarnation,
If you ever have kids, don’t make them believe the Santa Claus lie.
That’s not the kind of magic they’re truly looking for. When they eventually find out, it won’t feel like a harmless tradition or a prank – it will feel like a deep betrayal you’ve committed for years. That’s how I felt. And trust me, that hurt far more than any fleeting sense of wonder my parents thought they gave me.
Bro, children live in wonder and magic every single day. To them, a simple cardboard box can become a car, a ship, a shop, or even a castle. They see endless possibilities where adults see limitations. They don’t need the Santa Claus lie to believe in miracles – they already do.
Children don’t need a fabricated figure to teach them about wonder. What they need is an adult who remembers how to see the world with purity and openness.
So, instead of selling them a lie, show up – honestly and directly. Be the example of what it looks like to believe, to imagine, to embrace what can only be seen with the heart.
Children don’t need the polished myth of Santa. They need the real, imperfect you—flesh and blood, but trustworthy.
Is forgiveness a gift to others or a gift of freedom to you?
Dear future incarnation,
Forgiveness isn’t a favor to them. It’s an act of self-love and self-liberation.
So you can dance and enjoy life, again.
You might think that forgiveness is about condoning harm, excusing an inexcusable act, or pretending it didn’t happen. Or perhaps you see it as letting someone off the hook, releasing them from a justified punishment.
Deep down you already know: Punishment cannot undo the past. It doesn’t erase what happened or bring back what was lost. You might feel satisfaction when someone is punished for their wrongdoing—but it won’t last long and never, never heal the wound or return things to how they once were.
The truth is, revenge and retaliation keeps you chained to the pain. You feed it instead of free yourself from it.
Forgiveness is not about erasing accountability. It’s about breaking the cycle of pain that ties you to the hurt. It’s not a denial of what happened but a refusal to let hatred, anger or resentment define you.
True forgiveness is about choosing yourself. About choosing to reclaim your power, peace and joy over revenge and bitterness. About taking care of yourself, without relying on the people who have hurt you.
What if the connection you’re waiting for is just an ask away?
The thing is: A hug or support doesn’t feel any less real if you asked for it than if it was given freely.
We’ve been taught this idea that love is only genuine if it’s offered unasked. But that’s a myth. Let’s be real: for many of us, childhood taught us that showing our needs could backfire—get used against us, leave us rejected, or make us feel stupid if the answer was “no.” That fear is what truly holds us back.
But here’s the truth about vulnerability: it’s not about manipulating or guilting someone into giving. It’s about being honest with yourself—what you feel, what you want—and asking without shame, pride, or fear. Just say it. You might actually get it.
And with Christmas coming up, it’s easy to panic if you don’t have plans or fear being alone. If you’re fine spending it alone, great. But if you’re not, dig deep, find your courage, and ask someone. There’s strength in being vulnerable.
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Life is the practice
Life isn’t about splitting time between being “spiritual” and “worldly.” Every moment is the practice. The sacred isn’t hiding in a monastery, a retreat, or a spiritual text. It’s here, in the messy, chaotic, utterly mundane business of being human called life.
Life is the practice.
Why self-realization need self-healing (and vice versa)
Of course, we are spiritual beings. But as long as we are incarnated in a human body in the Earth realm, we need to embrace the human side of our being. Ignoring this would be spiritual bypassing.
On the other hand, if we forget that we are spiritual beings and see ourselves only as human beings, we’ll get stuck in our brokenness and try to control life from that limited view.
Are you still letting your inner child drive the car?
When our childhood needs aren’t met, the hurt doesn’t just disappear as we grow up. Instead, it festers and bleeds into our adult lives. Without us even realizing it, our inner child often takes the wheel—steering control of our actions, thoughts, and emotions. Not because we can’t but more likely because the unresolved childhood issues drive your behavior.
For example, we may cling to external validation, endlessly chasing approval, because, as a child, we never felt seen or acknowledged. Or we may be overcontrolling to compensate for a lack of structure in childhood. Or perhaps we reject any kind of authority, structure, or societal norms as a way to reclaim autonomy.
Unresolved issues have a way to make themselves known. And when no one takes responsibility for them, we end up with a world where every inner child, with all their unmet needs, is running the show. This is the world we live in today. A chaotic mess of unconscious behavior, driven by pain.
However, our inner child isn’t the enemy here. They are scared, hurt and trying to protect us the only way they know how. They just shouldn’t be in charge. They need us to be the one at the wheel, calm and steady, giving them the reassurance they crave.
dance video credit: @norafatehi
Why we emphasize the importance of self-healing
Healing is self-healing—most of the time, anyway. And when you rely solely on external support, you miss the point. Because here’s the truth no one profits from telling you: YOU ARE YOUR OWN GREATEST HEALER.
So, seek help when you need it. But don’t forget: healing is a path you walk. Not something someone hands to you.
Just because your path is different doesn’t mean you’re lost
The road most traveled might seem easier—less lonely, less demanding, less uncertain, and quicker to get through. But what if its very popularity makes it congested, slowing you down after all?
On the self-carved path, we may look lost, going through chaos and confusion. But: clarity doesn’t come ready-made. It emerges from the very mess—created by pulling out all the buried (and often uncomfortable) stuff, bringing it into the light, and working through it piece by piece.
It’s not easy, but every step we take is ours alone, walking where most wouldn’t dare to go.
Video credit: @dtownmoto
What does it mean tat consciousness can cognize itself?
Are you in the driver’s seat of your life?
Trauma, especially in childhood, leaves a mark. It shapes how we see the world, others, and ourselves. And yes, it’s healthy to talk about it, to process, and to feel the pain.
But here’s the hard truth:
If we stay in the mindset of “this was done to me” and keep venting or replaying the story without moving forward, we’re stuck in the backseat of our own lives. And in the backseat, someone else is always in control.
When we adopt a victim mindset, we’re essentially saying, “The person who hurt me still holds the keys to my life.”
But here’s the thing: You didn’t deserve to be put in the backseat. But staying there? That’s a choice.
So, where are you sitting right now? And are you ready to drive?
Video credit: @dtownmoto
We talk about being ‘present’-but are we ever really here?
Being present feels unnatural because we’ve been conditioned to live in our minds—seeking validation, worrying about the future, and rehashing the past. Distractions and habitual thinking keep us anywhere but here. Truly being present requires unlearning this conditioning, letting go of mental habits, and embracing stillness, which can feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
Remembering who You truly are is like…
Remembering who we are at a spiritual level is like Meryl Streep remembering she’s Meryl Streep no matter how deep she dives into her roles. She might inhabit the character fully—feeling every joy, heartbreak, and intensity of their world—but underneath it all, she’s never actually lost in it. She’s aware, with every move, that she is simply playing a part.
Similarly, our journey as spiritual beings in human form can feel as consuming as a role. We get wrapped up in identities, roles, and emotions, sometimes so convincingly that we forget they’re just parts we’re temporarily playing. Remembering our essence—our consciousness—is like Meryl Streep
coming off set, shrugging off the role, and returning to herself.
We can go through life deeply involved, facing suffering and joy, but if we can remember, even for a moment, that we are simply consciousness experiencing these roles, it adds a powerful layer of freedom and resilience.
And like Meryl Streep’s range, we’re free to experience a thousand identities and stories, knowing we’re not confined to any single one.
Validate Yourself
Self-validation is powerful. You are enough—and so is your validation. If you don’t recognize your worth, no one else will. Start by acknowledging yourself, because that inner recognition changes everything.
Discipline is actual self-care
Discipline doesn’t get a lot of love. It sounds like strict rules or endless routines, and it might even seem like the opposite of self-care. But it’s the practice that helps you rebuild self-trust. By showing up for yourself—even in small ways—you strengthen your foundation, reconnect with your needs, and invest in lasting growth – one consistent action at a time.
Discipline is like the quiet friend you didn’t know you needed, but who keeps showing up to remind you you’re worth it.
True Spirituality isn’t Calm Contained Perfection
Life is about presence, openness, connectedness and true aliveness. When we treat spirituality as just another asset to control and manage, we’re missing the point. It’s understandable that we crave peace, calm, high vibes, positive experiences, and a bright outlook on life and our future. But if we keep a lid on everything that doesn’t fit that box, we’re only limiting ourselves. Including exactly all the good things we desire.
Your Healing matters more than any Parenting Tips
We often think “good” parenting is about focusing on the child—using the right techniques or following the best advice. But the truth is, the focus should be more on the parent. Your healing matters far more than any tip or method.
The patterns you carry, the wounds you haven’t addressed—these will seep into your parenting. If you want your future children to thrive, focus on healing yourself first. When you do the inner work, you break generational cycles and create space for your children to grow into who they truly are, free from the baggage of the past.
How to stop taking things personally
Often, we fall into the habit of taking things personally. And we all have moments where someone’s words or actions hit us right in the feels. But here’s a truth bomb: most of the time, it’s not about you.
Next time someone’s words sting, try detaching and observing first. There might be something useful in it, or it might just be a reflection of them. Either way, it’s about keeping your ground, preserving your energy and not letting every little thing knock you off balance.
