“Unconditional love” is a lofty ideal. A girl or woman who has been wounded in childhood – like everyone else has – doesn’t magically become the beacon of unconditional love overnight just because she becomes a mother.

As a human being, I can only aspire to unconditional love. I cannot claim it.

Any claim to such a lofty ideal often serves as a shield – a way to sanctify myself, render myself untouchable, and declare the argument won before it even begins.

It’s just another form of defensiveness wrapped up in the pose of a perfect, supreme, untouchable saint.

So let’s be real – when I use it, I use it as a weapon. Not because it’s what I aspire to, but because it protects me from being accountable and vulnerable.