The viral video of Macron being shoved in the face – and his wife, Brigitte Macron, rejecting his arm, allegedly calling him a loser – may seem like nothing to some. But I grew up watching this dynamic. A father who shut down instead of arguing. A mother who couldn’t regulate her emotions – so she’d provoke, escalate, and punish until someone finally matched her chaos. Her words weren’t fists, but they were thrown like knives. She didn’t necessarily wound the skin, but worse: the psyche.

Statistically, women are more often the victims of physical and sexual violence in relationships. This is real, and it cannot be dismissed. But what the numbers don’t capture is the damage done behind closed doors – by women who wound invisibly. Emotionally. Psychologically. Sometimes physically. And the ones who absorb it most aren’t just the partners. It’s the children. It’s the entire nervous system of the household.

These wounds don’t show up as bruises. They show up as crushed self-worth, chronic guilt and shame, a nervous system that never feels safe, and the slow death of a person’s spirit. Let’s be honest: when women abuse, it’s not always a moment of overwhelm. It’s often a repeated pattern – a refusal to feel their pain, so they make others feel it instead.

This isn’t just a personal failing. It’s archetypal. This is the unspoken shadow of the wife, the mother, the nurturer – the Lilith in the kitchen.
The unintegrated raging feminine – isolated, overburdened, and sacrificing. Lilith, the first woman before Eve, refused to submit. So she was exiled. Turned into a demon in the stories.

But Lilith isn’t evil. She’s what happens when a woman’s power, grief, anger, and sovereignty are undermined – until they finally leak out as venom, as punishment, as emotional chaos. This isn’t about blaming women. It’s about seeing the whole picture. It’s about naming the shadow so it stops hurting everyone else in secret.

When we don’t integrate the Lilith in us – she takes over. And often, she hurts the ones closest to us. So let’s stop looking away. Let’s name what’s real. Not to shame. But to heal.