Holding the tension of opposing feelings

Image header: Fernando Butcher, CC BY 2.0

If only we could stay centered, holding opposing feelings within ourselves…

We don’t like it when things are uncertain or unpredictable. We like it when they are stable. Because we are wired for stability and control.

When things get unpredictable and uncertain, we look for a sense of control.

It’s not just uncertainty in the challenging moments that we find hard to deal with. Also when it comes to joyous moments, we may find it overwhelming when we don’t know how long they may last.

Instead of cherishing the moment, we entertain thoughts about the future and the fear of change that comes with it.

When things get unpredictable and uncertain, we look for a sense of control.
And we do that by trying to control our environment and the people in it.

But what we actually need to « control » is ourselves:
Uncertainty often creates a tension arising from opposing possibilities. The interplay between contrasting outcomes, such as good or bad and favorable or unfavorable etc. triggers a rollercoaster of emotions that we find unpleasant. And we try to shake it off.

Sometimes, we rush things or opt for a less ideal outcome just to shorten the discomfort of lingering uncertainty. It’s like we crave that sense of closure, trying to ease the mental load that comes with it.

If only we could stay centered, holding opposing feelings within ourselves, we would find harmony and thrive amidst unpredictability and uncertainty.

Back to POINTERS and REMINDERS

control tension uncertainty