What is one wedding tip you would give?
We go first.

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary.
We were both in our forties when we both got married for the first time.

In the societies and cultures we grew up in, weddings are steeped in grand concepts: creative proposals on one knee, sparkling engagement rings, bachelor parties, “the happiest day of your life,” opulent venues, tiers of wedding cake, big feasts, speeches, impressive food, wedding photography, newlywed games/ customs, and so on.

We had none of that.

First of all, we didn’t want to spend so much money and more importantly we didn’t want to be stressed out about it all.
We also didn’t feel connected to the conditioned concepts or traditions of what a wedding day should look like, which gave us the freedom to ask ourselves what we really wanted.

We were both clear that we didn’t want the weight of obligation and expectation – deciding who to invite, feeling compelled to include some we aren’t close to, and navigating potential conflicts of who gets along and who doesn’t.
Instead, we sat down and looked at what marriage meant to us: It was (and still is) about honoring ourselves, our connection, and our willingness to commit to another.

We got a case of Prosecco and spent the week before our wedding celebrating ourselves and feeling grateful for finding each other.

Our wedding day itself was quite rainy, and since no one else was in on our wedding, it felt strange to let a random cab driver in on ‘our day.’ So we decided to ride our bikes to the courthouse. It felt the most independent, authentic, and free.
We packed our wedding clothes into a tennis bag, put on our rain gear, and rode to the civil registry office. There we changed into our clothes and got married by a nice clerk.

Afterwards, we went to a pizza place around the corner and shared a pizza and two beers before heading home.

We only have selfies and photos the clerk took that day with our cell phones. Neither of us wears a wedding ring, and we didn’t take each other’s last names. This is us. And we liked it that way.

Here is our tip: Reflect on which wedding customs, and conventions truly resonate with you.