“Your sister tends to please the men she dates.”
My mother says this often – disapprovingly. But when I point out she was the blueprint, she gets defensive. She can’t – or won’t – see the pattern.

We inherit behaviors not just genetically, but emotionally, relationally, somatically.
If the mother models pleasing to stay safe, loved, or secure, the daughter may learn to do the same.

Watching Kylie Jenner kiss Timothée Chalamet at the Indian Wells tennis tournament, people said, “It’s cute.”
Sure. But what I saw was a woman still performing the ancient ritual of “See me, want me, pick me, stay with me.”

That need for attention, the constant positioning to be seen by a man – it doesn’t go away with status or wealth. It’s a somatic memory in the body. It’s in the epigenetic soup. Even if she’s not conscious of it, the behavior persists.

She doesn’t wait for his attention, but she still needs it. That’s key. Even today, even with all her power, independence, fame and wealth. Still needing his gaze.

This isn’t about weakness. It’s ancient.
Women once had to earn men’s attention to survive – to get food, protection, support for their children. That pattern got passed down. Because it was dominant for survival.

Even now, when survival no longer depends on a man, the nervous system still remembers, and epigenetic trauma and ancestral conditioning run even deeper. They still orient around being chosen, desired, wanted. Still fear disappearing when unseen.