Do you agree that taking care of ourselves is about how we ‘carry’ ourselves?

It is striking how in Western countries, we often place babies into cribs, prams and other similar devices, which unintentionally reduces the direct physical contact between parent and child. It’s like the demands of modern life, our safety worries and desire for convenience build a barrier, keeping the baby from the warmth and closeness of human contact.

How is this related to self-care?

Think of it like this: when we were little, if we didn’t experience enough physical closeness or carrying, we might grow up still subconsciously wanting comfort and care. This passive longing for being taken care of, from our early years, can stick with us as adults, making it hard for us to actively prioritize taking care of ourselves. It’s almost like deep down, we still crave being looked after and carried around like a baby would.

Self-care seems like too much sometimes. While we know what we should do, we find ourselves stuck when it comes to actually doing what is good for us. Whether it’s taking responsibility for ourselves, or doing work-out, or simply going to bed early enough, there is something within us holding us back. Be it expectation, resistance or helplessness, there is an underlying frustration of an unmet need that keeps us in passivity.

Ultimately, taking care of ourselves is like how we ‘carry’ ourselves. It’s about realizing that we might have missed out on closeness and comfort when we were younger.

While it’s regrettable and saddening, the past is beyond our control. What we can control is how we care for ourselves in the present. It’s up to us now to prioritize giving ourselves the love and attention we deserve. Just like babies need to be held close for comfort, we need to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. It’s about ‘carrying’ ourselves with care, both physically and emotionally, knowing that the way we treat ourselves sets the tone.

READ – Jean Liedloff, The Continuum Concept

WATCH The secret life of Walter Mitty

ASK In which areas of my life do I need to become more self-supportive?

MEDITATE Become aware of your unmet childhood needs

Tune into the role of your inner parents and offer love, acknowledgment and comfort to your inner child

DO Assess your needs, Assess the challenges, Plan doable steps, Schedule them to give yourself a supporting structure, Show up for yourself