Unconditional love is not an instinct. It is the sum of our healing.

Instinct is what we’re born with. It is hard-wired. It is reflexive. It helps us survive.
A baby cries when it’s hungry. A parent protects their child. We avoid pain.
These are instincts.

If unconditional love were instinct, we’d all love without conditions by default. But we don’t.

– We love as long as our needs are met.
– We love as long as we feel safe.
– We love as long as we are treated well.

Conditions are built into the love we experience because we are wounded.
Love with conditions is learned. We were taught:

– Approval must be earned.
– Love can be withheld.
– We must be a certain way to be accepted.

Healing crumbles the walls we built to protect ourselves.
Healing means facing wounds, identifying unconscious patterns, and reclaiming the love buried under our pain and protective shell.

The more we heal:
– The less we protect ourselves with conditions.
– The less love feels like a transaction.
– The more love becomes a state of being.

We are born with unconditional love, but our conditioning often causes us to forget it. We can return to it – by healing or becoming aware of everything that taught us otherwise.